Wow, it's been a crazy few months for me, but there's something that I wanted to share.

A little while ago I read "Outliers" by malcolm gladwell, and I don't know how many of you have read it and I know that I should post this on the book list thread and hopefully I will remember to do that, but for now it's part of my success story.

for those of you who haven't yet read it, you should, and those of you who have will understand what I'm talking about when I refer to the section on "Korean Airlines" and how it changed my thinking about how I communicate with people. For those of you who haven't read it, the jist is that Korean airlines had a higher than average percentage of crashes and when all the data was analyzed it was determined that the problem was not in the fact that the planes were more faulty or that the conditions were worse, but in the way that the cock pit crew communicated. That due to cultural traditions, the subordinate crew took on a very subordinate role with the pilot to the extent that they were very hesitant to point out mistakes in judgement. It was thought that after deciphering some of the recovered black boxes that if the crew has spoken up more aggressively that perhaps the accident could have been avoided. They found that the subordinates did not speak up and state things, but often suggested or implied information as to not be impolite to their superior. An american company was brought in and the crew was retrained to "behave differently" and the accident rate dropped significantly. Sorry if I've given away too much of the story, but there's tons more stuff in there like that.

This concept forced me to look at my own situation and how I could comunicate better with my team. What I realized is that during the 12 years that I worked in film as an assistant, I had to deal with many very BIG personalities and I learned early on how to suggest and imply information and that it was best to not demand, insist or assert myself. It worked well for me for those 12 years and I became very good at it. But now, I am no longer an assistant, I'm the boss, so why am I still suggesting or hinting or implying at things? I'm responsible for overseeing $100's of renovations (of my own money) so why am I still speaking like I'm an assistant. Sometime things don't get done the way that I want but then I realize that I don't say "I want it done this way", I suggest it like, "I think it would be good" or "do you think that..." or "don't you think that..." or even sometimes "it would be nice.." , so I've made a conscious effort to state what I mean instead of implying it. I'm retraining myself to be in charge.

Up until now, I've pretty much been able to get away with using my own money to finance my projects and not needed jv partners. I have one, my best friend and her husband, but other than that I don't think that I've ever really asked someone if they would be interested in jv'ing with me. I've told people that I'm looking for jv partners and left it at that. So, I've just been going along for the last little while thinking that I really should start jv'ing because I'm running out of my own capital and racking up a huge amount of mortgage debt so now I'm having to come up with large down payments. I'm not a salesperson. I hate the hard sell. It's not my personality to go out there and sell myself, I've always thought that that my track record will speak for itself so I've never really asked, never tried to sell a deal, until recently....

I had a property that I had just finished renovating, I had tenants interested in renting and I was (kind of) looking for a jv partner to come in on it with me so that I could pull some capital out to do the next one. My agents suggested that I list it for sale, so I did but I figured what the hell, I've got nothing to lose by asking and I sent out a mass email to about 15-20 people stating that I was looking for a jv partner on this and outlining the deal. Within a few hours I had 4 responses, at least 2 of which I think will lead to solid jv's in the future. I say in the future because I ended up selling the house, I got an offer that was just too good to refuse, but I learned something really important...If I come out and ask for what I want there's a much greater chance that I'm going to get it.

so from now on I'm making an effort to clearly state what I want and stop implying, suggesting, insinuating.

I guess it could also be deemed a success that I was able to "flip" a house (although that wasn't my intention when I bought it) during a recessionary market and I guess it could also be seen as a success that I managed to line up 2 future jv's, but the real success is that I'm retraining myself to communicate what I want. That is something that can't be quantified.

Hi Terry,
Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulation for your successful journey. Although long way to go but atleast you know the way. Keep it up

Terry,

That was very important to share, thank you. It's much appreciated!!!

Great post. Thank you for sharing. Outliers is a good read. I highly recommend it as well Malcolm Gladwell's Blink and the Tipping point.

Great post Terry! Thanks for sharing your experience.

Hi Terri,

Great story. It is the moment in life when something clicks and we can catch a true glimpse of ourself or the 'new self' that we will become that is a truly liberating moment.

Thanks for your insights and successes.

Todd-

Thanks for the post, I must read that book! I had it out of the library but then I had a baby hence didn't get round to reading it but now I have some time when he's sleeping I should get it out again!

Terri,

Thanks so much for sharing. Very inspirational. I love to hear about women who ask for (and get) what they want!

Hi Terry, you just opened my eyes and helped me define something that I was missing. It is a "Yes" moment for me right now, thanks to you.

If you feel appropriate, please share the content of the email that you sent out. I am curious how you worded it to prompt such a great response.

Also include a picture and website to your profile here - you should be very proud with the properties and fabulous designs that you create.

Todor
todor@proactinvestments.com

Thanks for posting this; it really resonates with me. Though I read The Outliers recently, I never really thought out how its implications might play out in my life. Good for you for making it a learning/growth experience. Congratulations on your success.

Fantastic post, Terri! My friend recommended the book a few months ago and I just took it out of our university library the other day. Better get it started tonight!

BTW, I've checked your website out and just love the renos you've done. Gorgeous!

Regards,
Scott

hi everyone,

thanks so much for all your positive feedback,

Tudor, I looked at the email and realized that there was next to no info on it, just the fact that I needed them to qualify for the mortgage and if they put $15K down they could get 50% or if they qualified but put no money down they could get 15%. That was pretty much it. No mention of monthly cash flow or ROI at all. Now that I think about it I'm surprised I got any responses at all, I guess stocks and RRSP's must be doing far worse than I realized (lol).

by picture did you mean a picture of the property or a picture of me on my profile, because I'm really computer illiterate, I've tried to add a profile pic, but it just doesn't come up. Also I don't know how to automatically add tag lines and website addresses to the bottom of posts, it's very embarrassing since my boyfriend is a computer genius, but I will have to get him to show me how, because I realize that I do need to "step up" my marketing game. That being said, I have no professional head shots of myself. My profile pic would come down to either one of my many climbing photos where you only see the back of me, or this great baby pic at the ripe old age of one drinking a beer. Very cute.

And, Tudor, you know how proud I am about my properties and my designs, I'm like a proud parent, I glow when I talk about them. I am so lucky to be doing what I love!!

T.
www.queenwestrentals.com

Hi Terri,

Look at the top of the page and find My Controls. On the left in My Controls you will find My Personal Settings, My signature - use it for your name and website URL, My avatar and My Photo is for your personal picture. I think there are some discussions on how to do all that in the Technical support section or better yet get your boyfriend to do all that for you

thanks, Tudor

my boyfriend is very busy working on my website, and I can only ask for one thing at a time, so I tried to do it myself, here goes,

thanks!

T.

it worked, yah!

I guess I'm going to have to get a new photo where I'm more than just a black dot in the middle of the page. ha

thanks for your help, Tudor.