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First RTO ad for nice property under AFS, Help please!!

MichaelDunbar

0
REIN Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
33
Hi Rein folks. Wondering if you could critique my ad for a property we've just acquired under AFS. To tell you the truth this is an extremely nice property with all the bells and whistles, and we are a little bit over our heads in marketing to more upper class RTO clientele. We are most likely appealing to a torontonian family who can't afford to purchase in Toronto, but is looking for a place to buy, maybe with some credit issues. Or on the flip side, we are appealing to people in and around the Barrie area. The house is 339,000 purchase price and we're hoping to get a minimum down payment of 20k. We are aiming to get a minimum of $2500/month lease payments. In addition with any ad help I can get, can you advise me as to what medium of advertisement you have gotten the best results from? eg... paid ad on FSBO barrie, Kijiji, newspaper ads with a prerecorded voice message? any help would be greatly appreciated. Ok , have at 'er




Own your upscale home now! It`s that Easy with vendor Financing. Poor credit? No problem


Welcome to your beautiful new house that you can proudly call home in the north end of Barrie. Save money on rent and start owning your impressive home that you can dazzle your friends with. This is an upper scale home, complete with all the fine details and custom upgrades guaranteed to allow you to enjoy the finer moments in your life. Your large (3000 sq.ft), 4 bedroom and 2.5 bathroom decadent house boasts beautiful hardwood and slate flooring. Granite countertops, coupled with a double sided glass fireplace to warm you up on your couch in the family room or while enjoying a glass of wine in the kitchen, serve to add overall comfort of to the main level. A grand 2-story entryway is the first thing you`ll lay eyes on when you come inside, accented by lovely wooden handrail European spiraling staircase. Read the newspaper and enjoy your cup of coffee in the morning from your breakfast bar. There are so many lovely things about your new home, I`m having trouble deciding which ones may be the most important to you. One thing I do know; If you see it, you`ll fall in love with it. An incomplete list of the main features:


Benefits:


  • Close to schools, shopping , entertainment and bus routes
  • Move in ready, with modern designer colours and fresh decor
  • Only blocks away from Hwy 400 for easy commuting

Features:



[*]Flex room immediately at the front of the house offset by double French doors and large bright bay window. Can be used as an office or living room`use your imagination!
[*]Elevated Deck immediately off the kitchen with bright sliding glass door
4 bedrooms with a massive master bedroom.
Ensuite bath complete with luxury soaker tub and separate shower stall, done in tasteful ceramic tile flooring and matching tub surround
Stainless steel appliances in kitchen included
Quality dark hardwood flooring, Ceramic and custom slate flooring thoughout
Breakfast bar/ All Granite countertops
Beautiful European style spiral staircase with wooden handrail accenting a grand 2-story entrance
[*]Large receiving vestibule with lovely glass screen doors for increased privacy
[*]Double sided Fireplace can be appreciated from the kitchen or family room
[*]Double sink in main 5 piece bath upstairs
A main floor Den can be used as office or kids playroom
Powder room on main floor
Huge partially framed basement can be used for gaming room, home theatre room or even a granny suite for extra income.


These are definitely not all the amazing features of your home. You must come and see it for yourself soon as it won`t last long


Our rent to own program is a proven system that takes into account many factors the banks don`t. Even if the banks don`t want to deal with you, If you have a steady job and downpayment we want to talk to you and see if you`ll be the proud owner of this beautiful home. Discover the joys of rent to own and the results it can bring you and your family. Protect your wealth and create your future by becoming a home owner.


We are open to accepting people with all credit ratings. Don`t disqualify yourself, yours may be the perfect family ready to move into this home. Don`t waste any time acting on your new home, or somebody else may have the privilege of calling it theirs. Call us now and find out if this can be yours!


What you need to do: Call 705-585-4844, if what you hear doesn`t impress you, then you are not the right owners for this home. Once impressed, please feel free to contact Martin 705-641-1777. Or email [email protected]


Don`t take too long, this house WILL
be gone before you know it.
 

Thomas Beyer

0
REIN Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2007
Messages
13,881
I assume it has pictures !



A tad long otherwise.



Where is this ? Mention broad geographic area, i.e. SE Markham or NW Etobicoke, or between ABC and XYZ street and within 4 blocks of 3456 Aven



Many people with be non-Canadians ! Do they know what a vestibule is ? I don't !!



Don't mix capitals and Smaller Letters .. it Looks too Weird !



be specific on schools .. list 3-4 of each category (K-6, 7-9, 10-12, ..) plus links if e-ad.



Assuming e-ad, click here for ad translation into Korean, Farsi, Chinese, Polish, Italian ..and 14 Top 20 languages in Canada.



Many an RTO tenant is an immigrant with cash but poor or no credit ! and no speeke english mucho !! mako ado mucho simplo and easi to reeed !





List a minimum downpayment AND a minimum monthly $ amount .. to weed out teh tirekickers. State the ultimate price range, say $450,000 to $500,000 .





Explain what "rent-to-own" means via your website ! btw: where is this website of yours ?
 

Dan_Eisenhauer

0
Registered
Joined
Aug 31, 2007
Messages
950
I agree with Thomas. It is a bit long.



You have a list of features. The car I am selling has 4 doors, an engine, gets 4km/100L (or whatever it is), has windows all the way around, and four radial tires. So what you ask?



The same thing applies to selling your properties, whether to a purchaser or a tenant. Sell the sizzle, not the steak. What is the benefit to the purchaser of:

  • Four BRs?
  • Flex-room at front of house?
  • A main floor den?
  • European style staircase?
  • Double sink?
  • Upper scale home?
  • Slate flooring?

    etc etc.



    McDonald's doesn't sell hamburgers. It sells "a break today", or an experience for your family. Coke sells refreshment. Rolex sells pride of ownership, not watches (which keep terrible time btw.) Watch TV one night and notice how the national advertisers do not sell products, but benefits. You need to do the same thing.



    Benefits:


    Flex-room at front of house allows parents to watch the children from the kitchen when preparing meals
    Double sink to rinse dishes before putting them on the drying rank
    European styling for the snob appeal (find other words to use)
    Hardwood floors are maintenance free
    Soaker tub for relaxing in after a hard day at work
    Granny suite becomes a mortgage helper
Go on line and look for words that sell.



Just some thoughts.
 

MichaelDunbar

0
REIN Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2010
Messages
33
Thanks for the help gentlemen. I've made a few changes and posted it up. I'm getting lots of views and little reply.. I guess that's a good thing since we're weeding out the tirekickers with the down payment and monthly lease payments. @ thomas: When you refer to translating it into different languages, are you suggesting I post a new ad for each language?



oh, my website is www.definitiveinvestments.ca It is currently undergoing full overhaul along with a rent to own website to come soon..



mike
 
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