Forgiving: a new slant on an old method


Frequent Forum Member
REIN Member
Feb 22, 2008
Vancouver, BC
Richard's Monday morning mastery call today asked us to forgive people in dealing with/healing our conflicts. What if some people are dead or long gone from your life?

A few years ago I followed Rhonda Britten's advice in her wonderful book, Fearless Loving, on page 198. Call me a West Coast flake, tell me to rein in my wild woman imagination...but it worked.

If even one REIN forum member benefits from this post, it'll be worthwhile.

First, one person at a time, I hand wrote the usual, "let all your anger out" letters, writing three or four letters on different days in a stream of consciousness style, ranting until no more words came out of my pen. As I tore the 3-4 letters up, I blessed the person, following Rhonda's script, to let go of my anger. Nothing new so far, right?

Second, one person at a time, I wrote a letter from these people to myself, as if they were writing to me. Rhonda says to write everything you wish they would have said.

But that's not what happened. First, let me tell you I write three pages stream of conscioiusness every morning and have got insights before from deeper parts of me.

The first letter was "from" my long dead dad. "Dear Margaret", it began, "I've been dead for 40 years but there are some things I've been wanting to tell you." OMG! Weird, creepy! "Keep writing!" I told myself. My pen took over and wrote four pages without stopping. Ideas and thoughts that had never occurred to me, that explained my dad's behaviour, poured out. I understood my dad and his points of view more deeply than I ever had...and was able to forgive him.

I did the same with my mum, my brother and an ex-spouse, where the same "messages from somewhere else" flowed out of my pen and forgave them once and for all.

Weird, but it worked.

Hope this helps you to forgive,


Mama Margaret & Friends Cooking Adventures In Italy