Please critique my apartment-for-rent ad

[surfermoe]

My wife and I recently bought a vacant duplex in Ottawa and have listed it on Kijiji and Craigslist for the past two weeks.

We`ve been surprised by the lack of response to the ad (we`re getting quite a few views of the ad, but relatively few inquiries), and are hoping some of you can critique our ad to provide some ideas.

FYI, the price of the apartment is par with going rates for downtown Ottawa. The ad is live on Kijiji here

Here`s the ad:

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** Beautiful 3-bdrm between Glebe and Dow`s Lake **

Beautiful, turn-of-the-century, 3-bedroom apartment for rent. Very bright apartment. In a duplex that is located between the Glebe and Dow`s lake.

Great location - walk to work downtown, or take a quick bus ride to Carleton U. Restaurants, shops, Dow`s Lake and the Canal are all walking distance.

Features of this apartment include:

• Three good-sized bedrooms
• Huge living room with large windows and fireplace
• New hardwood floors
• High ceilings Freshly painted walls Enclosed porch off kitchen Washer and dryer Parking for one car

$1,550 per month plus heat and hydro. References absolutely required. Available October 1st.

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Any ideas? I`m also wondering if the photos in the ad aren`t tempting enough.

Thanks a lot,

Moe

 

[Alvaro Sanchez]

The add looks plain and simple not in line with the asking price in my opinion. Perhaps, setup a website for it. There are a few templates and hosting companies.

Besides having my website, I have used http://www.vflyer.comfor posting a nicely formated add in craiglist which give you a better presentation and it`s free for 1-2 units. I have also used other free websites when posting. Also, check the following link for more free resources http://www.ottawa-for-rent.com/

Here is a sample one: http://itspgroup.vflyer.com/home/flyer/home/2213338

I dont think that it`s enough to post only in kijji and craiglist.

regards

 

[zimnicki]

The ad does look plain, but it may work and may not, everytime i use kijiji, i get great responses, also maybe take a better picture of the kitchen and master bed room, so people know how big they really are. You dont have how big the place is ? how many sqaure feet is it? how big are the bedrooms? take a picture of the beautiful bathroom,

Sometimes in these cases you have to put yourself in the shoes of a person looking for a place... what are you looking for, what would make you want to see this place...
Also mention all the appliances they get if they get any, which ones?

I hope that helps and great luck with it.

p.s. also make your ad more personal, like there is someone behind this ad, put your name and number down on the ad, you would be more surpirsed on how many more people want to call rather then email you, if people really want the place they are going to call you right away. Every ad that i ever put up, i had my name and number and no ever emailed me, just called. it makes things a lot easyer.

 

[PaulPoulsen]

QUOTE (surfermoe @ Sep 23 2009, 10:30 AM) ** Beautiful 3-bdrm between Glebe and Dow`s Lake **

Beautiful, turn-of-the-century, 3-bedroom apartment for rent. Very bright apartment. In a duplex that is located between the Glebe and Dow`s lake.

Great location - walk to work downtown, or take a quick bus ride to Carleton U. Restaurants, shops, Dow`s Lake and the Canal are all walking distance.

Features of this apartment include:

• Three good-sized bedrooms
• Huge living room with large windows and fireplace
• New hardwood floors
• High ceilings Freshly painted walls Enclosed porch off kitchen Washer and dryer Parking for one car

$1,550 per month plus heat and hydro. References absolutely required. Available October 1st.

You`re doing a great job of listing features but unfortunately features aren`t what rents a property. Each time you list a feature, you need to ask yourself, "So what?" You did this a little when you explained renters can easily walk to work or take the bus. You need to expand on this strategy.

*Three good-sized bedrooms - So what? Three bedrooms are great if you`ve got a family, have lots of company or if you`re trying to cut expenses with a few roommates.
*New hardwood floors - So what? Elegant and easy to keep clean, hardwood floors don`t trap dust and allergens. Great news if you`re an allergy sufferer.
*Washer and dryer - So what? No more schlepping your dirty clothes to the laundromat and wasting your day. Great time saving if you`re busy with family or your career.
*Parking for one car - So what? Never worry about finding parking thanks to your own reserved stall. Now you won`t have to run an extension cord across the sidewalk to plug in during the winter.

And now I`m going to hop up on my Kijiji soapbox. I hate it. In my experience, it attracts the lowest common denominator and is overrun with scams and schemes. Good tenants know that there are a ton of unscrupulous Nigerian millionaires and bogus landlords that try to collect multiple deposits on properties they don`t even own. Additionally, Kijiji limits the number of pictures you can use which is a big hindrance. Here in Edmonton, I`m a big fan of RentBoard.ca and, to a lesser extent, RentFaster.ca. You`re probably looking at about a dollar a day but that filters out the bogus landlords that give us all a bad name and allows you to include as many pictures as you want.

 

[zimnicki]

QUOTE (PaulPoulsen @ Sep 23 2009, 01:39 PM) You`re doing a great job of listing features but unfortunately features aren`t what rents a property. Each time you list a feature, you need to ask yourself, "So what?" You did this a little when you explained renters can easily walk to work or take the bus. You need to expand on this strategy.

*Three good-sized bedrooms - So what? Three bedrooms are great if you`ve got a family, have lots of company or if you`re trying to cut expenses with a few roommates.
*New hardwood floors - So what? Elegant and easy to keep clean, hardwood floors don`t trap dust and allergens. Great news if you`re an allergy sufferer.
*Washer and dryer - So what? No more schlepping your dirty clothes to the laundromat and wasting your day. Great time saving if you`re busy with family or your career.
*Parking for one car - So what? Never worry about finding parking thanks to your own reserved stall. Now you won`t have to run an extension cord across the sidewalk to plug in during the winter.

And now I`m going to hop up on my Kijiji soapbox. I hate it. In my experience, it attracts the lowest common denominator and is overrun with scams and schemes. Good tenants know that there are a ton of unscrupulous Nigerian millionaires and bogus landlords that try to collect multiple deposits on properties they don`t even own. Additionally, Kijiji limits the number of pictures you can use which is a big hindrance. Here in Edmonton, I`m a big fan of RentBoard.ca and, to a lesser extent, RentFaster.ca. You`re probably looking at about a dollar a day but that filters out the bogus landlords that give us all a bad name and allows you to include as many pictures as you want.



Great Post, lots of great ideas!

 

[tonypeters]

Moe, Please do not get offended here, as it is NOT intentional, but your advertisement will most likely look "just like all of the other" (property for rent) advertisements in the paper. Your advertisement MUST STAND OUT if you want it to get NOTICED! Please remember, your headline (opening) comments are your "Ad within the Ad". With this in mind, your headline should state the very BEST thing your property has to offer!

Here is an example of what I mean; many years ago I wrote an ad for a three bedroom condo that I was looking to rent. There was absolutely NOTHING "great" that I could say about the unit, as it was "just like all of the others" that were listed in the paper. It did have "in-suite laundry", so I used this as my STAND OUT FEATURE! I know, I was really grasping at straws. The headline said..."Do Your Laundry Naked!

Guess what? The phone rang like crazy! WHY? Because my ad STOOD OUT! What did I do, I tied the fact that you would not have to do your laundry in some common area with everybody else. It was kind of funny, as the lady at the newspaper had to clear the ad content with her editor before she could accept it.

Just take a look at the classified section and see how many ads really…STAND OUT! You will be truly amazed to see that NOT many of them do!

Don`t do what the MASSES do, do something DIFFERENT and get NOTICED! Be sure to let me know how you make out. Good Luck!


QUOTE (surfermoe @ Sep 23 2009, 10:30 AM) My wife and I recently bought a vacant duplex in Ottawa and have listed it on Kijiji and Craigslist for the past two weeks.

We`ve been surprised by the lack of response to the ad (we`re getting quite a few views of the ad, but relatively few inquiries), and are hoping some of you can critique our ad to provide some ideas.

FYI, the price of the apartment is par with going rates for downtown Ottawa. The ad is live on Kijiji here

Here`s the ad:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
** Beautiful 3-bdrm between Glebe and Dow`s Lake **

Beautiful, turn-of-the-century, 3-bedroom apartment for rent. Very bright apartment. In a duplex that is located between the Glebe and Dow`s lake.

Great location - walk to work downtown, or take a quick bus ride to Carleton U. Restaurants, shops, Dow`s Lake and the Canal are all walking distance.

Features of this apartment include:

• Three good-sized bedrooms
• Huge living room with large windows and fireplace
• New hardwood floors
• High ceilingsFreshly painted wallsEnclosed porch off kitchenWasher and dryerParking for one car

$1,550 per month plus heat and hydro. References absolutely required. Available October 1st.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Any ideas? I`m also wondering if the photos in the ad aren`t tempting enough.

Thanks a lot,

Moe

 

[RedlineBrett]

Make sure you are priced right.

need info on how many bathrooms and a photo of them
need info on parking

Take out the `references absolutely required` bit. You don`t need to be that strong at this stage. Makes you sound like a high strung prickish landlord. Ask for this after you are comfortable with the rest of the stuff on their tenant application

Need more than 4 photos or a link to other photos

get off the free kijiji sites and spend some money on a rentfaster or homerent or rentboard etc.

Make sure you have a sign out front and speak with the owner of the house on the nearest busy street about putting a sign on their property that points to yours.

 

[undertheoak1]

I`ve checked your actual ad. As a stager, I was almost certain that you posted a vacant unit. Only 10% of the population is visual; the majority can`t visualize how it will look occupied. The pictures need to draw the viewer in, creating a desire to learn more.

I`ve dealt with really stressed out landlords who couldn`t rent their properties. The phone starts ringing off the hook after changing the pictures.

To save a buck, you don`t have to stage the entire space. Just create focal points in the rooms you`ve chosen to display in your ad. Make sure that`s what the potential viewers see from the door when they come in.

Unfortunately, I am in Edmonton, but I am sure there is tons of stagers in your area. Makes sure you don`t hire a home organizer. They are good at de-cluttering, but you need an artistic person who can create a homey feeling on the picture. Good luck!

 

[surfermoe]

Wow, these are all amazing ideas! I`m going to implement as many of them as possible immediately.

The irony here is that I have a web business where I sell information products through pay-per-click advertising. I take a lot of effort to write good copy for my ads and sales pages - but have completely neglected my rental ads.

Thanks a lot asanchez, Michael, Paul, Tony, Brett, and undertheoak1!

Moe